Stop Calling Your Loved Ones "Dead"
The other side, behind the veil, and dead - none of these terms accurately describe your loved ones no longer on the physical plane. And they really would love it if we could find another term for “The Dead”.
This is discrepancy comes to light nearly every reading, and as a Medium, I struggle to identify succinct verbiage to satisfying both worlds. The English language just simply does not have a term that accurately describes beings that are not presently incarnated. But these beings, unbound by time and space, adamantly protest to referred to as Dead. Vehemently. Unapologetically. It does not resonate. Often, they feel more alive than they did in their earthly incarnation. This is especially true if they had experienced a great deal of physical pain, due to addiction, illness, or just growing old.
Pets and people alike like to show me how physically free and whole they feel. For example, I had a reading with a woman and her beloved dog who had recently pased, entered the space almost immediately. He was just so overjoyed to be with his owner and opportunity to be heard by her. Though he was always with her, she was unable to feel his presence though the intense amount of guilt and shame she felt around his death. This was very puzzling to the dog, and he conveyed that her feelings of guilt were not just unwarranted, but were keeping her from being able to perceive him. He wanted her to let them go so that she could become aware of his presence. He showed me that the only time he could bi-pass his owner’s feelings in order to be recognized by her, was first thing in the morning before she was fully conscious after waking up. He would lick her ankles to make himself apparent to her. Her constant internal — and perhaps external — apologizing, and sensation of guilt around his death, were literally getting in the way of him being able to connect with her. But for him, those feelings of guilt constant apologizing were completely fruitless and unnecessary. Prior to the reading, she was simply unable to pull herself from those feelings — even though those feelings were the very thing keeping her from connecting with her beloved pet.
Meanwhile, the dog’s experiences between both worlds only had slightly differed, though there were aspects he was still getting acclimated to (such as, he was a little confused on why he didn’t need to eat food anymore). The greatest indicator to him that something had changed was in fact his owners reaction to his passing and his inability to connect with her through her grief. But his experience was now pain free (he had shoulder pain in his physical body). Moreover he was with his owner every single day. While she was crying for him, he was looking up at her perplexed, as if to say, “I’m right here.”
This is single handedly the most challenging thing about being a medium — I can understand both sides, but they cannot understand each other. I acting as literal translator. Every fiber of my being screeches with dissonance when I attempt to answer a client’s question using words that do not resonate with the Spirit. And when Spirit inevitably answers, with a much larger, meta perspective that is unsatisfying or just outright nonsensical to the 3D human experience, I feel the flat, hollowing landing of what is actually incredibly beautiful and vast explanation. I feel and hear both sides, however, they do not communicate with each other. I try my best to bring the two to an understanding but sometimes there simply are not the words to make the middle ground make sense to both parties.
When insights shared are accurate, Spirit does not care at all if feelings are hurt, or if the ego can’t comprehend or doesn’t agree. But, being that I am a human, and I’ve experienced grief, loss, shame, so on, I put on my human-compassion-hat on, and slightly soften the delivery without compromising the information from Spirit. I really only do this extra step in readings because I am not removed from the human condition and have compassion for it. But Spirit does not care at all if the message conveyed doesn’t resonate to the ego. Spirit doesn’t speak to the ego but to the soul — the dimensional and eternal-self. And from this perspective, accuracy always supersedes the limitations of the distorted human experience.
